For many nights and many days.

For many nights and days, I lay awake wondering about you in my head, I can't get you out and there's this urge in my heart to write on here how I feel and what is going through my mind. For so long, I tried to pick up the the pen to write what I'm thinking down, but every times, I just couldn't because I didn't come to quite understand what was happening between you and me. You know what I am thinking of right now? I'm thinking of... the very first time you held me in your arms. When you embrace me for the very first time, my whole world suddenly flickered with hopes, smiles, and dreams. Remember what I wrote in my journal, it was so "magical" and every moment of it all till now is still so magical. You came into my life like the sunflower popped open on a bright sunny day. Not knowing if it'll open or close when the sun comes out, you came not knowing anything or expecting anything at all but with a hints, you gave it your all. I ask myself, how can I have been so blessed to have you walk into my life? Into my life, where things are so complicated and so messy, torn and with so many wounds, you still remain by my side and stood there with me till now. I wonder what ran through your mind when we hug? From the moment you held me in your arms, I knew that I never wanted to leave. The warmth that flows from your body to mine, from when we hug to when we held hands, to when we kiss with great affections, with you being next to me, I became lost in my world of your overflowing love. Each nights I stare into space and wonder why the tears are falling out of my eyes, I wonder if you love someone, do tears come as a way to accompany you when words are not enough? I think they do..for words weren't enough to describe how I felt for you. The way I loved you, I've never loved anyone else before, and every times, you cross my mind, I can't help but cry to myself of the way my love came to be molded with you and your love for me. Do you know that you brought an incredible change to my world that no other man could? I thank God for everything he has provided me with through you and your love, and through everything that we've gone through together and individually. Remembering the first time we talked and laughed, it was wonderful memories that I always, always, carried in my heart in times of trials or pains. Your words of encouragements, presence and embrace and your love filled my broken and lonely heart with so much warmth and happiness.

Time..wish it stay still...

It's a beautiful night tonight though very hott but I got to see the man I long to see all day today! He's so wonderful to me and his smile just blows my mind away. I miss him heev and today just seems not long enough like my heart wish it to. Before I know it, time has already passed by and here I am just enjoying bittersweet moment. How I wish the day would stay still but no, God knows it can't go that way. As much as my heart long for it, it's one of those day where I just have to learn how to let go. Seems like pretty much that is just how it's going to go. The one lesson i have to learn to accept and to deal with. It's hard heev and sometimes I'm just so frustrated but with a reminder to myself, I know that this is what I have to do. Sometimes, I wonder if what I'm doing is enough.. am i ready... ready? I can ask for more time, but I really do think I'm running out of time this time... aren't I? T_____________________T
[BIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HUGGGGGGG RUBBBBB SQUUUUUUEEEEZE along with HIS AWESOME SUPPPPPEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRR TWIISTTTTTTTT!!!!]

Yours truly,
maky09